Me. At least after what I've been through.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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