You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
