plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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