Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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