Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
