hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
