He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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