I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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