Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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