Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
