i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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