You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
