I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
