it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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