Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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