i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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