I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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