Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
