it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
