Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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