He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
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the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
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The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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