I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
that's an acceptable place to lick
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
