this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
