So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
