Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
