There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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