It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
