remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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