No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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