Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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