I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
