wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Randomize
