yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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