I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
