I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
