And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
