lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
