why didn't you poke me back
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
