I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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