Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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