READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I touched a dick in church today
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
