if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
