Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
