with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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