So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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