And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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