I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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