If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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