She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
