and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
