Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
