Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
