Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
