This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
