Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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