you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
