why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
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Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
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It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Such a big mess for such a small penis