Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
