THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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