Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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