We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You are a genius and a whore.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize