You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
