you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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