dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
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The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm having to shit out rocks
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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