you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
