So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
