My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
