and you said cock pushups were impossible
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
