He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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