OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
