one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
