Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
