Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
